Monday, January 2, 2017

be not afraid

And so I find myself on the other side of the holidays. So many good moments with family and friends. So much to be grateful for.

Between Christmas and the new year I visited my siblings in Illinois. Five of the 7 of us were sitting around the dinner table. Nineteen years separates the eldest from the youngest. I am third in the birth order and my two older siblings were there, as well as the two youngest.
We had been given a box of old photographs by a cousin who was thinning out her mother's collection. There were many photos of the three of us oldest when we were very young and many of the cousins too. We enjoyed trying to identify who and where and when. Nearly all of the photos had never been seen by my younger brother or sister. People they didn't recognize and places they hadn't been or were too young to remember.
Naturally our conversations included memories only the eldest of us shared. One such memory caused me to say that I was always so easily scared as a child, quickly brought to tears. And that I still felt some of that fear much of the time today. Almost as one those around the table responded in disbelief. Then someone asked how a scaredy cat could live alone on a farm for nearly three years.
I brought these thoughts back with me and have been turning them over and over in my mind.
And so,
for 2017 my polestar will be "Be not afraid."
Fear is a thief. Fear is a disabler. Fear cripples creativity. Fear causes dis-ease and therefore impacts every breath you take. Fear causes you to wear a mask of pretense.
Fear is a choice.
And I refuse to choose it.

3 comments:

  1. Photos bring back lots of memories.......some good, some bad. Funny how the bad memories come to the fore, that happens with me with bad memories

    Julie xxxxxxx

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  2. Ah, such a positive choice for the new year, Sharon! I, too, spent most of my childhood being fearfully shy and afraid to put myself forward. Yes, may you refuse to be fearful in 2017, as you have so much to offer the world!
    I was not aware that you had so many siblings! How wonderful to share photos and reconnect with the past.
    I'm sending you big hugs and many good wishes for this brand new year!!

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  3. I think you were very courageous to be at the farm on you own for so long. I don't know if I would have been able to do it. You have come a long way since the 'scaredy cat' days Sharon.

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